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Personal reflections

I drank because…

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For my beautifully intelligent and innocent niece who asked me why I used to drink.

I drank because I wanted to have fun, it was normalised, everyone did it.

I drank because my parents drank.

I drank because my peers drank.

I drank because despite the fear I felt about being drunk for the first time, I liked the loss of control. It made me bold to kiss boys and tell my secrets and dance all night.

I drank because I learned to like the taste of beer and wine. But never vodka. Vodka had to find a home in coke, ribena, milk. Anything to take away the sting. Read the rest of this entry


Photographing Love

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I’ve always been in love. With a character on a TV show (my first was Danger Mouse, then I moved onto actual human beings with Illya Kuryakin from A Man From U.N.C.L.E. I think I must be one of a very small number of girls of my generation to cite this as a TV crush.)  With a boy at school, nature, my pets, a new book.

I remember as a child I was often so consumed with this feeling there was no way in the world I could express it. It made me so joyful and sad at the same time. I was nostalgic for things that had only just happened, or hadn’t even happened yet.

Read the rest of this entry

Life: Just a Word Game?

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Noun.  A chronic disease, endemic in parts of Africa and South America, caused by infestation with blood flukes (schistosomes).*

I was in the kitchen last week having a rather banal conversation. (You’re hooked already, no?) There were some laughs and maybe a few insightful remarks, I’m sure, but nothing to write home about. The subject was of such a high importance that I have completely forgotten it. For all I know we could have been discussing the reason why kitchen foil has one shiny and one dull side (although, I actually find this quite interesting and if you want to know you’ll just have to ask me. Or google it.)

So we were deep in mind-blowing philosophising and I got stuck mid sentence. I couldn’t find the word. It was a totally simple, everyday, uncomplicated word but it got stuck somewhere in my brain. Read the rest of this entry